I’ve had a recurring dream for the past decade. I am trying to finish a race of some sort–running (I know, right?!) toward a finish line. Suddenly I find myself in a pool treading water. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to reach the finish line. I’m not struggling, but instead, just treading water. I usually wake up frustrated and exhausted.
That pretty much sums up my life for the past month. I have been trying so hard to reach the finish line but I have only been treading water. But I finally crossed that finish line last night. All work is graded, all major items in my classroom have been moved, and now I am ready to finish the rest of the school year. I wonder if my feet have dragged a little this year because I don’t have to close down my San Francisco life for three months and move to my Vermont life. Perhaps.
I have been searching through old college pictures because 6 of my friends are busting out for a weekend on the Hood River in a few weeks. I have a few party tricks up my sleeve, but it’s somewhat torturous to look at these pictures. I can’t believe how young I look. I guess I can’t believe how long it has been…We graduated from Colorado in 1999. It’s hard not to look at these old photos and think about where I am in life. I’m not in a bad place at all–I absolutely love my life. But, I am the one who has changed the least. I am the only one not married (still single, like college), and only two of us are not moms or moms-to-be.
Is there a little anxiety on seeing everyone? Absolutely. I remain in touch with all of them, but we are scattered between St. Louis, Colorado, Oregon and California. We don’t see each other that much. Usually at a wedding. I think about the treading water dream. I wonder if that is how people see me. Not quite idle, but not really gaining any ground. I sure hope not. Continue reading
